You don't have asthma, your pregnant
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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