Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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