Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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