just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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