"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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