i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The feeling are messing with the penis
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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