They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
