If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
