in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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