yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
