and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
