Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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