I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
