I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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