let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
