If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize