WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
