Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
