Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
