Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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