Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
