i jhust puked up my retainher.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
