I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
