I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
