Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
