Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
