You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
