The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
