You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize