I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
