ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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