Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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