OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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