Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
