I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
