I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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