His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
