its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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