You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
