I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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