So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
