Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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