Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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