Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
