Old men and throwing up are my life now.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic