so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself