Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.