he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for