You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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