Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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