I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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