how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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