imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize