soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
