Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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