i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
