can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
