drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize