that's an acceptable place to lick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
