i think my tv is drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
