I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
