Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
