She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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