The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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