hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize