I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
