I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
