Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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