I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
