It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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