I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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